So, about 8 months ago, I decided to leave the jdub. But I can't do it until august this year, and until then I can't blow my cover as well. Since then, I've been "the best pretender ever".
But now, I feel like I'm going nuts.I mean, two meetings ago(I still go to meetings.every time), everything they said was...outrageous and I felt the need to yell "what the fuck are you talking about??" and to shake everybody around. Last meeting I wanted to cry the entire time. Today, I felt sick, physically sick, like I was going to vomit
every second. And I'm serious. I actually felt this way, not just metaphoric.
every second. And I'm serious. I actually felt this way, not just metaphoric. And I'm afraid I won't be able to control my self much more. I don't know how long I can still pretend, and I just can't go yet. And I have NO IDEA how to deal with this......
I'm open to any suggestions
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