I was recently in contact with my ex (been divorced since 1994) and made a comment that it is so nice to see how our son treats his wife with kindness and respect - noting that he didn't learn that from his father.
The ex went on to call me bitter, sad and pathetic.
It got me wondering -- Why is it, that when someone remembers the (very painful) past as it was, the person who has mentally wiped the slate clean feels its ok to self-righteously label them as "bitter" - as though its some kind of character flaw. Is the character flaw not with the person who gave cause for bitterness? (I think the numerous women he has messed around over the years might agree).
I don't give my ex much thought at all anymore. But when I have cause to, it is with bitterness. I despise the man. He cheated one me countless times and bullied me and our children. In general he made life miserable and tense until I couldn't take it anymore and left - after 17 years of marriage.
I don't forgive him. I am bitter toward him and I don't see why I shouldn't be.
It doesn't mean I'm bitter about everything in life.
Aarrgghhh.... felt like beating him to a pulp.