Hi, I just joined this site. I was relieved to find it. While not ever having been baptized as JW I did study with them for many years due to a close family
friend of about 30 years who was an active JW. (It had begun as a business relationship then evolved into a real friendship based on mutual respect). Because I
had such respect for this woman, who mentored me; I was curious as to her beliefs and accepted studies with people in her cong. Meanwhile we had lively
discussions about our worldviews and experiences. We had a lot in common. The friendship flourished; we were careful to safeguard it and keep it
'appropriate'. I went to meetings with her family. Eventually when I went to college, I moved out of that state, but we kept in contact, and our
interesting conversations continued much as before. This went on for 20 years. She was in many ways, a typical JW - except that she was not wholly into the
proselytizing aspect and limited her service work. She was raised JW.
During the early years of our friendship, we found occasion to discuss a wide array of subjects; suffice it to say that she is fairly savvy, knew me well and my "tendencies" or true proclivities were fairly evident, even then. I admitted to some of these tendencies and eventually, after researching the JW position about these things, just told her that it was resolved and I didn't want to talk about those particular things further. She agreed, we agreed we could disagree, I was not at that point acting on any of it so the friendship continued as usual. I knew this was rather unique given her religion, and made every attempt to respect her beliefs. She respected mine as well. Over the years I was around her, I read most of the available WT literature, books, mags, NWT, etc. although I did not buy into the beliefs--I feel reasonably educated about the religion. I've "studied" it further from a more critical stance following more recent developments for me personally.
Eventually, a mutual business acquaintance (whom I had recently met, that each of us basically barely knew) happened to discover that I am a lesbian, although at that time single and not practicing as one nor really open about it. A subsequent misunderstanding with the acquaintance, or another similar situation with other persons we both knew, may have caused one of those people to tell her outright that I'm gay. I don't know exactly what happened. I do know that the JW friend had had some personal, unrelated issues fairly major in her own life which may have precluded this mess. At this time we were communicating okay, all seemed fine, then the next time I saw my JW friend of over 20 years duration: She was civil to me, she acknowledged my presence, but she pointedly said something like, I am just letting you know that we can exchange pleasantries if we encounter eachother but that is all, we will not correspond and otherwise this friendship is essentially over. I was SHOCKED.
I suppose I should have seen this coming; I had dreaded it for many years, but counted her as a true friend and believed her when she agreed to drop the subject. It really had been a dormant, non-issue for so long that I could not imagine what caused her to suddenly drop me entirely. It was completely inconsistent with everything she had ever said or done to me. I thought a great deal of this woman and I did not anticipate this. The idea that she would accept anyone's claims about me (even if partly true) without at least asking me about what was said or giving me the opportunity to know what her problem was, really hurt me. Its been about 2 years since this transpired; and the loss of her friendship is something I still feel very hurt by and deeply miss. I had no sexual interest whatsoever in this woman, it was just a friendship, but a remarkable one given the circumstances. I was essentially raised in the A.M.E. faith and am now a pagan, still finding my precise path.
That situation alone might not have been enough to cause me to seek out an exJW forum but, in a bizarre twist of fate, I have met someone I believe is my soul-mate; she is just coming out of the closet as a lesbian, is a newly-declared wiccan amidst a messy divorce settlement...and she is an exJW who was raised as JW but left before she was baptized. She says that she is 'over it' but as we get to know one-another better, it is evident to me that she is still swayed by some of their doctrines. We both believe we have begun a permanent relationship (with eachother) so I'm seeking a better understanding of all this.
I think my JW ex-friend is probably lost to me for good which still haunts and hurts me on many levels. I don't think my girlfriend is all that inclined to go back to the JW religion, but I don't want to lose her to that if later she should be influenced to do so. (Of course, I want her to be happy and she can make up her own mind; my hope is to help her see the religion with more perspective on what it really is). She is in a hard situation (we both are; its presently mostly a long-distance relationship as well, and due to her pending divorce and some of my personal matters, it will be for some time yet). I want to support her as much as I can and hopefully have a future with her. Not to worry; I won't post questionable photos or material here.
Thank you for letting me vent and introduce myself. I look forward to reading more here, what a fascinating site and I'm grateful to have found it.
During the early years of our friendship, we found occasion to discuss a wide array of subjects; suffice it to say that she is fairly savvy, knew me well and my "tendencies" or true proclivities were fairly evident, even then. I admitted to some of these tendencies and eventually, after researching the JW position about these things, just told her that it was resolved and I didn't want to talk about those particular things further. She agreed, we agreed we could disagree, I was not at that point acting on any of it so the friendship continued as usual. I knew this was rather unique given her religion, and made every attempt to respect her beliefs. She respected mine as well. Over the years I was around her, I read most of the available WT literature, books, mags, NWT, etc. although I did not buy into the beliefs--I feel reasonably educated about the religion. I've "studied" it further from a more critical stance following more recent developments for me personally.
Eventually, a mutual business acquaintance (whom I had recently met, that each of us basically barely knew) happened to discover that I am a lesbian, although at that time single and not practicing as one nor really open about it. A subsequent misunderstanding with the acquaintance, or another similar situation with other persons we both knew, may have caused one of those people to tell her outright that I'm gay. I don't know exactly what happened. I do know that the JW friend had had some personal, unrelated issues fairly major in her own life which may have precluded this mess. At this time we were communicating okay, all seemed fine, then the next time I saw my JW friend of over 20 years duration: She was civil to me, she acknowledged my presence, but she pointedly said something like, I am just letting you know that we can exchange pleasantries if we encounter eachother but that is all, we will not correspond and otherwise this friendship is essentially over. I was SHOCKED.
I suppose I should have seen this coming; I had dreaded it for many years, but counted her as a true friend and believed her when she agreed to drop the subject. It really had been a dormant, non-issue for so long that I could not imagine what caused her to suddenly drop me entirely. It was completely inconsistent with everything she had ever said or done to me. I thought a great deal of this woman and I did not anticipate this. The idea that she would accept anyone's claims about me (even if partly true) without at least asking me about what was said or giving me the opportunity to know what her problem was, really hurt me. Its been about 2 years since this transpired; and the loss of her friendship is something I still feel very hurt by and deeply miss. I had no sexual interest whatsoever in this woman, it was just a friendship, but a remarkable one given the circumstances. I was essentially raised in the A.M.E. faith and am now a pagan, still finding my precise path.
That situation alone might not have been enough to cause me to seek out an exJW forum but, in a bizarre twist of fate, I have met someone I believe is my soul-mate; she is just coming out of the closet as a lesbian, is a newly-declared wiccan amidst a messy divorce settlement...and she is an exJW who was raised as JW but left before she was baptized. She says that she is 'over it' but as we get to know one-another better, it is evident to me that she is still swayed by some of their doctrines. We both believe we have begun a permanent relationship (with eachother) so I'm seeking a better understanding of all this.
I think my JW ex-friend is probably lost to me for good which still haunts and hurts me on many levels. I don't think my girlfriend is all that inclined to go back to the JW religion, but I don't want to lose her to that if later she should be influenced to do so. (Of course, I want her to be happy and she can make up her own mind; my hope is to help her see the religion with more perspective on what it really is). She is in a hard situation (we both are; its presently mostly a long-distance relationship as well, and due to her pending divorce and some of my personal matters, it will be for some time yet). I want to support her as much as I can and hopefully have a future with her. Not to worry; I won't post questionable photos or material here.
Thank you for letting me vent and introduce myself. I look forward to reading more here, what a fascinating site and I'm grateful to have found it.
